a StUp|d GuY |n @ sTuPId WOr|d...

MY TOOTH!!!!!!!

2005-05-09T20:23:00.000+08:00

i am so suay...

today during lunch....

i had chicken chop...

then while eating...

i accidentally bite the folk....

then ARGH!!! OUCH!!!!

then i felt something in between the teeth...

when i "pui" it out... it looked like a rice grain...

but it is a chip off my tooth...

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pain....

now my tongue move over the part can feel the edge...

sobx... :(

i am not in existence...

2005-05-06T20:44:00.000+08:00

well... today... was considered alright ba... i guess...

hmm... not much events... nothing to be happy about... maybe only the excitement of hearing that there is training tmr...

haiz... it seems so contradicting.... my behaviour lately... the things i do... then when they say they wan me back... i dun see a purpose.... i can sit beside them for a whole 2 hours... and we say zero sentence... almost no conversation... except telling them its the wrong book they are looking at??

haiz... more and more people knows bout my behaviour le.... people that knows full story.. xinyu... cheryl... bei en... hmmm... tian2 i not sure wat she knows.... haiz... all of them understand... i think... and i am making sense... it doesnt matter... whether i am there or not... even someone who sits so far away realises.... i guess it is almost impossible for me to go back le... and i see no need for me to do that...

wat is me? i call people to inform them things... but wat is the use.... they dun care.... a missed call is so not important... so be it... why should i be so good at keep a look out for them... why am i so stupid.... haiz... stop thinking that shit man... zhen you... u are one big sucker la.... and oh pls .... why do u worry for others... when they dun even recognise ur existence... it is all in the past le la.... so wat if u really care... they dun need it le la... yes.. the teachers pass things down for u to carry out... u dun wan to .... bcoz u are not a CL A rep... then let the teachers know... fuck.... y are u so hesitant... bcoz u dun wan her to feel bad? bcoz u dun wan to help her... watever... no one understands... even i dun... argh!!!! wat is the use of asking me back... when i am not needed... not important... and no one cares... u all can go to the extreme far end for all i care... i know wat i wan... and i hope to keep this going... dun wan to fail myself... my parents.. those who cares for me anymore...

i guess i am the first to realise this ba... u all never know? nvm if u really care... u can ask me.. i will tell... no longer keeping it a secret... i am at peace now... totally calm... and everyone knows that... but i dun know if u all will come to this... aiya... stupid la you... caring about people again... u mentioned that they dun care le marhx... forget it man... idiot...

stress!!! everyone can see y now right... even mdm tan mentioned in class le... all the teachers are watching me.... but... y only me?!?! pls.. i do care bout him... i really worry... but wat can i do... he doesnt seem to understand... and i dunno how to say it out... nvm then... people.. those who understands... pls help me out ba... i dun mean help me.. but help him... bcoz i have realised... but he doesnt seem to... a chance given doesnt come by again so easily...

i went to ask mr kooi bout tutorial today... ya the latest one tutorial 10... i know abit kiasu... bcoz people are still working on tutorial 9... but i got to do wat... nvm... then he is such a great teacher.. love him man... and i asked him wat is the requirements to take S paper... wow... the criteria is so high.. but i guess that will make me work harder... promos... 80 and above... nice target...

all the things that are happening... all the things u care for... is that wat u really want? are u living in ur world? who are u? or maybe u should ask wat are u?

wooo hoo.... NYDB.....

2005-05-05T21:59:00.000+08:00

haha... today had training... i feel great happy.... exhilerating... i love dragon boat....

did quite alot sia... ghaha... ran vertical dist then did sets...
haha... well today i pushed hard... and i did... wat i could not in the past... haha... so many push ups.... i can do so many... i am so surprised.... i didnt know that my body has gone through that much.. i love this feeling... it gives me so much drive to continue to work harder...... yeah.....

NYDB jia you!!!!!!! love u muackx muackx.... hahahahahahahha......

why cant i get tired enough....

2005-04-30T23:27:00.000+08:00

wah today went for training again... yeahx... haha... hmmm... but today de training xiong sia... haiz... started off with a 4.4km de warm up.... kaox... that was great sia.... then we did warm up... follwed by a hundred push ups for punishment for some of them being late... but as a team... we do all things together.. yeah..NYDB team spirit rox.... haha...

oh.. then after training i went to sembawang to play bball.... haha.... a bit crazy... but still can take it.. juz kind of cant stand the sun burnt effect on my skin... haiz... kinda sad... i purposely engage myself in so much things hoping to get myself tired.... but... in the end... i understand y others always say... if u try hard to forget... all the more u will think of it....

my way?

2005-04-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

woo... today was a long day sia... hmmm.. i studied till 8.30 pm in school today... nice... fruitful... haha... i did my latest maths tutorial... halfway done le... hehe... fast sia... juz got it today wors... hahahaha... hmmm... i love maths.... haha... then i revised my econs... nice... though i only did demand... but feels great... haha...

hmmm... today was a total loner day.... haha... yeah... avoiding so many things around.... haha... erm... but... all i did was walk on my own... go and do my pull-ups... haha... so happy... today is record breaking... i did 60 at the assisted machine... haha.. i will improve very soon de... jia you....

oh had a chat with bei en after the e-project thingy... oh.. nice girl to chat with... she understands me very well sia... surprised... hmm... she brought up something... worth thinking about.. she said is it worth it for me to isolate myself and forgone other frenships... juz bcoz of somethings that i wan to avoid... but i answered her straight that... i dun mind... for i am not avoiding 1 thing.... but many contributing to this state.... wat a good listener... haha... hmmm.. got chance then talk again ba... my new ah lian classmate... haha... maybe can intro u to our 1st 3 months de ah lian next time... haha...

avoiding or running away... there is no diffierence.. u can do all the things u like and i dun care... u can walk ur way and behave like u wan... but that does not affect me... i am a loner... juz dun take my MD, and notes away.... i need those things to survive... i lead my way.. my kind of life...

close the door... shut the world... do not disturb...

me or me?

2005-04-28T20:01:00.000+08:00

wow... today de pe lesson was great... i am one fat guy that loves PE... hahaa... fit de lehx... haha... i completed my 2.4 in 12.25... yeahz... pass... haha... despite my spoilt legs... haha...its such a great improvement... haha... the last time i ran 5 rounds and came back at 12 plus... but today... i did 1 more round and the timing is good... haha... happy.... but still not good enough... chiong ar... haha...

hmmmm went to watch guohui de vball match... haha... it is forever so exciting sia... haha... cheer like siaox... hmmm die le la.. later no voice.. haha... oh think it was a great match despite some problems encountered in the first game... haha.... well done guohui... haha... can see ur leadership skills.... haha... (>.<)

er... today huimin confronted me sia... bout my behaviour... but... i am still going to stay like that ba... i know wat i am doing la.... dun worry too much ba.... i need time to forget.... dun worry.. things are getting better i suppose... but truthfully... it is so difficult...

my existence...

2005-04-27T17:10:00.000+08:00

well... once again i have been selected for college day de emcee.... haiz...
well test are coming le... how... so much to study... grrr.... i wan more time...

hmmm... recently... i have been behaving strangely... had some soul searching... i go everywhere all alone... not with the class.... not with the clique... mainly bcoz i am avoiding something...

well... it so happens that there are things that u wan to avoid when u think chances are low... never going to occur... u dun wan to see it... remember it ... think about it... however... it is still not easy....

hmmm... ya... i discovered something also... my existence is of low significance... it seems like no one cares.... maybe is i think too much or wat.... but... really think that... i need this change...
at times... u really feel like scolding that person... ok maybe not scold.. juz talk to that person... it so happens that that person will juz keep on talking... though i understand... but i still hope that person can realise this...

mainly i think i am under immense stress... i really dun wan to do badly for my test... i only got 4 for my ap gp assignment... sad... very very sad... i am a retainee... i cant afford to fail again...

so i am trying hard to forget this feeling... and it seems like... it is somehow working... getting used to this le.... still will think bout it... but at least i dun care that much now.... not going to show much concern for anyone le... i am a self centered.... selfish mugger.... argh!!!!

i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux i sux

DB fun race

2005-04-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

wooo today was exciting sia... haha... so proud of these bunch of people... though we had a boat with more girls... we strive and worked... we came in third for both heats in prelims and semis... but... that is not the point... our team had a timing of 3.29 in the prelim heats.. which is so fast as compared to other teams... hahaha..... u all rox.... well... nice outing... nice sunny day... badly burnt.... perspiring like siaox... haha...

oh... then go to the li wei song musical school... wow... nice place to go to... but..but.. haiz... cant go for it... unless i am stinky rich like glyn... haiz... i wan!!~~~ hahaha... but nvm la... a poor boy has got to lead a poor boy's life...

haiz... i got a big big prob here sia.... should i join the one competition... haix... but wat should i sing??? argh so fan nao... makes me irritated that discourage me to join.... sianx... hahah... i am crazy... kenna sun burnt till siaox le....

is that love or is that pure infatuation... i dunno... i ask myself... but i cant get the answer... my eyes are so glued to u... so so... argh i dunno... haha.... it seems like u dun feel this feeling of mine... but wat to do... i dun wan to be disappointed anymore.. dun wan anything... dun think u will ever get know also... i sux... not worthy enough... my life sux... think i wanna be a tian sha gu xing... freaky loner... i like no one... dun think too much... haha... juz wanting to crap something... ya... ya....

.........................................

yeah back from NYDB...

2005-04-07T20:31:00.000+08:00

yeah yeah.... haha... went for dragon boat today...

haha... wow... training wasnt easy... though i am not up to it... but i tried... goodness... this is the first time i push myself so hard sia.... i think the spirit there was good... haha... love it... haha.... but the aftermath is great too... haha... shoulders.. arm... all in pain now... haha.... but the feeling is great... abit sadist... but who cares...

hmmm... kinda sad... i cycled home... went on my bike again... then thee feeling was all diff... haiz... kind of regret lending my bike out... now it is covered in mud stain... then the fore mud guard is gone... the rear brakes are worn out... haiz... sian ar... then there is this weird noise when i ride on it.... grrr..... my bike......

erm.. dunno if i should say this... think i had better not... haha... silence... haha... this is something so personal... dun think i will let anyone know... unless they find out by themselves ba... haha... hmmm it is a question, a feeling and a situation.... haha...

oh no... tmr ... dunno wat will happen to me... 4 hr break... haha... going out i guess... haha... well... resting soon... haha... yawnx....

no life....

2005-04-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

ok ok... i know i know that i havent been updating for quite some time le.... well but really nothing much for me to blog bout marhx...

hmmm... went out for quite a few days ... with glyn and tian2.. to kovan.. and they kept saying that place is lan diao liaoz... haha... hmmm.... i think its alright la... they are so funny la.. these 2 girls... crazie sia...

hmmm.. oh yea... i made my Ez- link card le... haha... but after having the card... this boy is gonig to go out all around again... always out... haha... sry for those who talk to me on msn but i never reply.. haha... coz i not around...

oh.. gonig to cut my hair tmr le.... pray hard that it will be nice ba... haha....

eh... ya... school has been sianx recently... repeat of lectures... then no homework... hmm... wonder if i can cope with my cca and studies when it starts.... haiz....

i cycled my way to pasir ris.. great achievement... but i am not happy...

2005-03-27T19:02:00.000+08:00

hah.... ok ok.. i shall answer to some of the comments i get first...

pris> wells... ok ok.. u can help me do up with my blog ba... haha... since u also free now... give u my password and usernam via sms ok? er.. do make it nice.. but not too girlish wors...

jerry> hahaa... oh but u like that leave a comment i also knowu have been here marhx... then horx.. for some that talk to me bout my blog de things.. i also know they have been here marhx... haha... er... oh.. regarding the "bao" de gu shi horx.. woudlnt it be better if u ask the dang shi ren.. haha...

ok shall start on my own prob le.... argh..... i wan to die le la... wells.. i start my day quite well wors... cycled to pasir ris... though the trip is so long.. haha.. but still manageable.. with some preparations.... haha... checked map.... haha... hmmm shall cut the boring details away....

well then met CCS de ppl... then we went to buy the stuffs for the bbq... hmm.. then spent quite some money to buy some food and eat... dunno y... but feel so hungry that day... oh i meant saturday... then horx... went to tian2 house lorhx... i fried nuggets and sotong ball... wee.... sweet... i love cooking... haha... no wonder others always say that hainanese guys are often good at cooking...

hmmm... then went to whites sands again to buy the remaining stuff for the bbq... but went to the arcade to play abit... hmmm.. then it happen.... i am also not sure whether wat happen.....
there can be 3 case... ok the thing is i lost my wallet...
case 1 is i misplaced the wallet
case 2 is i dropped the wallet
case 3 is someone stole it... bcoz i think and remembered that someone did knock into me when i was in the arcade

wells... the content inside is ezlink card... replacement is $20
and also... my i/c.... then horx this one de replacement cost is $300
oh... then horx.. the money i have inside is this week de allowance $40...
argh!!!! so ex.... argh.... ok.. dun ask me out le people.. unless u wan to treat me... i am going to save up to replace them... sianx...

hmmm.. tmr jiu kai xue le then horx... i haven done the revision worksheet for maths lehx... how?? oh ya... i also cant do my subject combi... hmm.. so die die i muz go sch tmr... ohhs... think i go sch tmr to do the maths tutorial ba...

wells.. i wish... i hope... and i pray.... for that my documents will be sent back to me... oh pls... wo qiu shen bai fuo ar... please please please... haha.. oh ya.. my birthday is on 16/5 so people.. can give me ezlink for present k?? haha... will be depending on my bike in the mean time...

tagboard poll

2005-03-18T08:52:00.000+08:00

hey people.. is there a need for a tag board on this blog of mine?? and... anyone wan to help me with that??pls leave a comment.... taking in to consideration... haha....

huang cheng.... haix...

2005-03-18T08:35:00.000+08:00

oh went to watch huang cheng last night la....then horx... wa... so disappointing... i feel so cheated.... hmmm .... kinda not that worthy of 15 bux.... hmm... well the show is strange... the script is shallow... no link... then the acting is not good... hmmm... er.. the music is good la.. and strangely i get the feeling that i am watching action and music more.... the props is ok la... but i still like BYG de.. we got less people less money... yet we get good props and good movement... dao ju rox... haha.... hmmm watching the descending lights and props .... haiz.. if i ever get a chance to perform at the V thea... i think i can die... haha.... damn power seh....

oh .... did i mention that the ju-s... was a little too messy??? hmmm well there is various ares where overlapping occurs.. then horx... bit sianx lorhx... the show is strange as in they dun have a specific topic or genre... like social... humour.... or watever... all is quite sad sad de... hmmm.. oh the part bout action and music.. there is very little tai ci... to explain for certain things... so its seems quite chou xiang.. but... in actual fact u feel that a linkage is somehow missing...

hmmm.. but heard from jiam.. and also my senior... says that they are facing some problems... with the school admin i think.... so many many factors leading to this year de performance.... hmmm.... well can only wish for the best lorhx...

then horx with that... i suddenly remember something.. there is no more 1st 3 months wors... so how will it affect BYG??? no J1s to act?? hmmm... no wonder wil have problems.... or shift to june??? wa... trouble....

sentosa outing...

2005-03-18T07:58:00.000+08:00

woo... the day was fun and enjoyable la... haha.... was considered the class outing... but ended with only clique la... haha... hmm... i wa actually supposed to wake up at 5.30am to fry the nuggets de... but end up.. the alarm rang... i got up to switch it off... then i fell asleep again... haha... then the next moment i wake... my room was so much brighter... 0720 le... then die... we arranged to meet at 0830 marhx... so i quickly go fry.... and surprise.. i finish quite fast 0740...but still cant make it to meet cheryl at 0750... haha... so ended up meeting pris and xiao bao... at bout 0815? at potong pasir... haha... then on the way i found out that so many are going to be late.....

hmmm.. reach sentosa there.. then went to palawan beach... haha... play little things actually... haha... then not fun lorhx... they alll huh everytime sitting at the beach... never go into the water.... xiaobao for a while... jueling also.... then xinyu and jojo juz sit and walk around...

then horx so many of them like ki siaox sia.... xiaobao... hmmm... buried our frisbee and smallrugbyball in the sand..... and prevented us from getting it out.... then when she go and send jueling off... yl had to quickly get the ball out... then build back the same pil of "castle"... which at most will resemble bukit timah hill... haha....

next is xinyu... we play at the playground marhx... then horx got this spinny thingy.... so the girls.. jojo xiao bao pris and xinyu went up la... then i spin them lorhx... spin spin spin... then heard her voice say wo yao die le... then "pom" she is on the floor le.... so i quickly stop the thing... then horx... she damn cute la... fall le then still down there giggling while she gets up.... piangx eh... sia si ren de wors....

then next is tian2 and cheryl... wa... the siaox... use the wet sand to make sand ball and throw me.... wa... like war like that.. i swim and dodge... dodge and swim... so tiring la.... old man still have to entertain them like that.... haha.... i admit la... i also got throw them back... haha...

whew... the day ended when most of them went to cong liang.... hmmm.. ya... i was damn hell red.... then some of them left for home earlier... left me xiao bao shimin cheryl and tian2... thne we went back to harbour front and walked around... wa... SRG jiu shi SRG... oh i mean stinky rich girl... haha.... xiaobao... she walk into 2 shops then bought a jacket and top... haha... 39 + 35... =74.... woo.... ahaha.. k la.. believe her ba.. she say she long time never shop le... but very true of a phrase she say... it is fate... u dun find clothes that u like so easily de... u might not encounter it again if u missed it....

then not much thing le lorhx....sentosa outx.... haha....

woo... OGL workshop....

2005-03-14T23:25:00.000+08:00

wa.. today can only be describe by one word... tiring ..... well this workshop is kind of sianx larhx... haha... bcoz it was almost exactly wat i went through 2+months before.. haha... hmmm... hmmm great work by the councillors... can see the effort put in to the games to make it different from the O1..... quite interesting... haha.... i still hate the NG thingy.... stupid thingy... made me dance so many many times... 20??? haiz...

haha... woo... then hors... same la... mass dance.. the most fun part of the orientation... haha.. danced with qiwei... haha... funny la.. she sometimes dance till very guai... haha... but overall is good la... haha... remember me telling her that... juz turn hard.... it is a gift to the girls... haha.... then went up on stage to dance with pris... haha... end up chatting then never dance v well... haha.... then horx... they never teach all star dance wors... hmmm.. thought they say going to teach in O2...??? hmmm.... end up me and pris dance with councillors... but horx... wa... cant remember much le wors... haha... but recap a bit le... good enough...

hmmm... came up with this cheer... funny... the makan cheer... woo... haha... wan to know??? wait for O2 lorhx... haha...

hmm the feeling of this workshop is not that good la... O1 workshop was better... haha.. think bcoz we got more crazy people... haha... hope O2 will be nice... jiayou lorhx... haha...

tired... juz prepared egg mayo for outing tmr... haha... got to sleep le... need to wake early to cook... haha...

haha... nice outing BYG...

2005-03-13T22:59:00.000+08:00

haha today bai yun gang small gathering... haha... got me tian2 xueshen alyssa connie n her brother chiam2 minzy mingxiao qiwei...

wow... nice day out... hahaha... met for lunch at mos .... haha.. then went to shop n save to buy water... and honey... hahaha... then smuggled in.... haha.... so bad of me....

hmmm... nice singing and had fun la.... haha... wow.... powerful lorhx... qiwei... gosh.. she sang damn good la... has very nice and attractive voice... erm attractive?? watever... haha... it is damn nice la... hey qi wei muz give me ur signature k???goodness... pretty gal with nice voice.... great personality till i recently got to know her better... haha... but .... same advice i will give u... be more confident of urself... try out the unknowns ma.... hmm ur singing i give 5 stars... i only give myself 2.5 stars... so u all know how good it is lorhx... power....

hmm.... then horx... got to say la... not very shuang.. haha.. didnt go very crazy... haiz... haha.. hoho... nice time hope to go again ba... er... then went semb to play bball.. never really got to play... hahah... ran quite a lot... haha.... kwa sianz... my sis wan use com again for her project... argh....

last day of term 1... sadz...

2005-03-11T22:53:00.000+08:00

ya... last day of term... sianz... 1st 3 months is over!!!! honey moon is over.... sobz... (T_T)

haiz.. today was quite a depressed day for me la..... also dunno y... maybe something to do with the subconscious spirit of mine... haa... that explains abit of y i went off during the outing.. sorry ppl... need to silent down.. think a bit.. cheer up... a clown never show others his crying or sad face...

the day started off quite as usual la... took a cab to school... then assemble for flag raising.. blahblah.. woo... mrs goh is going le... sad... i really liked her.. though i didnt have much chance to talk to her.. but can tell she is really a nice person... at least better than.... ahem... haha.. i will miss u de ...

wa.. first lesson was boring... sianx... ms darrell nrever come then watched the video.. ok la.. can say that the video is quite interesting.. but the sound and picture is eeks.... like shit.. .haha... so couldnt catch much thing...talking bout wat obssessions of ppl.... then resulting in the fashion wear....

oh ok.. next is pe... oh gosh... its bad la... play netball mixed with captains ball... haiz... the teaming is bad... haiz... i got this thinking that yanlong dun like me... everytime pe he will against me and team with nemo... unless nemo not around.. haiz.. maybe i think too much... or watever la... but... the game wasnt really enjoyable at start... bcoz alyssa and weishi are not good with the handling of ball la... so most of my long passes are not able to be catched.. but not bad la.. lynette went up later.. situation change a bit then xiao bao also go up... so good la.. i defend .... then great xiao bao.. everytime come back to help me when needed... thanz huh... ya la... i will say that it is juz a game.. but i really very ping ming de la... so i really hope to win... i think pe is the only little times that i am confident of myself... haha... a fast moving fat guy... haha.. bleahx.. still not fast enough... aha...

woo ... then actually most of my class ppl want to pon econs de... but i didnt wan to eventually la... bcoz i noticed a need for me to respect mr haniss for he respected me... dun wan to disappoint him.... hah.. he is really a great tcher... hope to see him a my tutor again.. pray pray....
oh did i mention that in the end all of those who wanted to pon came .... so happy.... haha... oh then horx this xiao bao so funny la.. keep taking mr haniss de photo... haha... then he looks so uneasy.... lolx...

hmmm.... then we ponned CLA ... and LEP... then went out... so called "class outing"... but only got me nemo... xin yu.. xiao bao. jolene.. yanlong...tian tian.. cheryl... haha... wo.. not bad larhx.. ahd 2 hours of pool... then bit of arcade.. then xiao bao had to go... then jolene also... and nemo also... so left with the 5 of us.. walked back to ps... but yanlong went off.. then left with us... so pathet.. .haiz.. then we went to take neoprint... bcoz tian2 kept asking for it.. haiz... then horx.. the machine sux.. haha.. lousy quality.. then after that went eat and went home.. oh.. i went home together with cheryl... hmm.. nice girl.. didnt really expect us to be chatting like wat we did in the train.. used to suaned by her till i quiet... haha... nah... lazy to fight back.. kou she zi zheng.. you hai sheng xin... haha... nice day out... got to know more ppl... haha.. ok.. know them better.. right?? hee.. oh ya.. i got u a gift wors.. priss.. haha... nice nice.... good luck for ur application.. haha...

hmm it is quite amazing how we have been brought together by fate... and eventually got to know each other.. had so much fun... really feel bad that my rehearsals took up so much time.. if not i will be able to join u all earlier... hmm... but goodness.. i am so glad that i met u ppl.. u all rox... i love 05A7C..... but i also know that all good things have to come to an end... this is only one stop of life... we can never stop here and not move on... .so get on with life ba...

oh ya ... i saw a stomp jacket... so nice.. and its on offer $16.... i am gonig to get it man... but dunno got size marhx.. haha... yea thats it for today.... me old le la.. failingeyes.. cant stay staring at this screen for too long... haha... got to go lorhx.. outz....

hmmmm... sick boy....

2005-03-10T22:06:00.000+08:00

hmmm today was a bad day....

i woke up late... bcoz of my flu medicine... gosh... stupid medicine... that labels MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS... then was late for school larhx.. reached on at 810... sianz... waited outside LT4 for them to finish econs lect... studied for CLA test....

not bad... haha... went for maths lect.... hmm.. really nothing much today sia.. so sianx... haiz... thne i seemed to be so outcast... i dunno y... juz have that feeling... except for nemo who is still by my side... haiz... nvm.. i think too much le...

then woo... scored fairly well for the test got 19/23... haha.... not really happy.... was aiming for better score.. nvm ... the next time... i will do so much better...

then ponned last period CLA 1... haha.. though its fun... but really no mood.... haha... went out...

hmmm... kinda sad... my class so many ppl didnt get to bcome ogl... dun be sad kiex... it is not easy being O2 ogl la... u got to know many probs arise that u dun encounter in O1... u have to bond ppl... and mingle the 1st and 2nd intake ppl... then make sure that they are willing to listen to u... and O1 may find O2 sianz.. bcoz there might be some repeatition.... hmmm... it might not be that bad to sit back and juz enjoy the orientation... wonder how i will be this time round... hope that it will be like my O1 og... haha... damn nice... oh ya.. my og got 6 OGL... haha great work my hai zi men.... u all have done me proud... jia you... cont to spread the spirit of fun and friendship come before competition... yea....

today is quite a wasted day sia... wooo yea.. my md load hao le.... haha... got wu ke qun... tong hua.. and howls... yea yea.... nitex lo.... the sick boy is going to blow his nose and sleep le....

nice song!!!!!! i love it....

2005-03-09T22:48:00.000+08:00

《童话》
曲：光良　詞：光良
忘了有多久　再沒聽到妳　對我說妳最愛的故事
我想了很久　我開始慌了　是不是我又做錯了什麼
妳哭著對我說　童話裡都是騙人的　我不可能是妳的王子
也許妳不會懂　從妳說愛我以後　我的天空　星星都亮了

我願變成童話裡　妳愛的那個天使　張開雙手變成翅膀守護妳
妳要相信　相信我們會像童話故事裡　幸福和快樂是結局
我要變成童話裡　妳愛的那個天使　張開雙手變成翅膀守護妳
妳要相信　相信我們會像童話故事裡　幸福和快樂是結局
我會變成童話裡　妳愛的那個天使　張開雙手變成翅膀守護妳
妳要相信　相信我們會像童話故事裡　幸福和快樂是結局
一起寫我們的結局

woo... i am sick....

2005-03-09T22:14:00.000+08:00

haiz... read the title... sadz.... FLU..... sianz... then doc says that the peircing pain could be caused by this flu.. huh??? never heard before... but so be it.. shall see if it will appear again...

hmm... cant blog much today ba... haha... think too sick to think.. but juz a few things to say....

hmm... didnt know that my blog is so concerned by ppl... and i think i have some language problem ba... that ppl can infer to many many different versions.. lolx... ar choo!!!! goodness... gosh wat ground shaking sneeze i have...

hmm.... er... today nothing much happen ba... i am not in school... was sick... so went to see doc.. queued up at the polyclinic for so long sia... almost 1.5 hours... first queue for the room... second queue waiting for doc... third queue for medicine dispensing.... phew...

oh yeah... my blog also have music le... ahha.... was howlsmovingcastle last night trying out new wan today... haha... thanx to chiam chiam... haha... taught me how to put music...

wa... very sianx wors.. got CL A test tmr... so i am going to sleep soon... then wake up early to study... hope to do well... i really love chinese!!! haha... thuogh i failed myself in LEP... but i still love it... bcoz LEP is not equal to chinese... ahah.... pray pray tmr ...

gosh... i ate da bao today... uh oh... i ate myself... how??? die le... eh... then who is the one typing... the spirit of da bao??? hmmm....

who am i=> hmm... i am a salesman... i have many customers everyday.... some are nice.. they greet and chat with u.... even if they dun buy... it is fine with me... they share with me the product knowledge they have... we discuss and have a little chat.... but there are some who are so troublesome and picky... they are so unreasonable at times... that they demand for things that totally out of the question... but they often say customers are always right... bleahx... so give in lorhx... hmm there are ppl around us that we dun like in our lifes... but... u cant make that person dissappear... so u got to learn to "ren".... if u succeed then its good.. coz ur tolerance level has gone to a greater height.. but if u fail... there is a high chance u will burst.. like a volcano... i know i can tolerate well... but when will i blow my top... u had bettter not try... U GET IT?!?!?!
:::HoZhe::

a series of unfortunate events

2005-03-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

haha thats the movie i watched today... with XIAO Bao.. jojo... n yanlong... haha...

wa.. this morning went for morn TAf run larhx... then horx.. when i was running my 6th round horx... i have a peircing heart pain... wa.... so xing ku... but i try to tahan then cont to run finish the next 2 rounds... haiz... i never had this kind of feeling before de wors... haiz.. .how?? think i am dying le... how!?!?!? argh!!!

then the thing is that my first period is PE... gosh... haha.. but is play frisbee lq... competition against S7C.. hmmm.. very bad game... i think... guys are outnumbered... sianx... though my game was better... bcoz we scored 4-0.. even though only got me and yanlong only... but the girls worked hard.. good play... lynette runs so much that she had stitch.. then dawn... managed multiple good catches... *claps* *claps*...

haiz.. kinda sad that the other game lost la... but heard that it was quite sianx coz the other team play with only the guys... while our team only have yi qin... hmmm... so quite one sided and we lost that game... scoreline being 6-0.... grrr.... i vow revenge if there is going to be any chance... dare to bully us!!!

then after that never go maths tutorial... also never go maths lect.. haix.. feel qutie bad now.... hmmm.. but went out with lihao... then after that found out that they went to watch movie.. oh they are XIAO BAO.. jojo and yanlong... haha... then i smsed XIAO BAO... she say if i dun mind i can go.. but at that time my cab was already on the way down from amk... rush... haha then i bought the tix and went in... think they quite shocked that i was that fast.... bcoz before i go in i still asking if XIAO BAO wans pop corn.. haha... when i went in i saw the seatings.. then i prefer more to the mid.. ahah... so i shifted in... then accidentally stepped on jo's leg... haha... muz be real pain for her... me so heavy...

hmm overall the movie was ok la... but not say very nice also... not much of a plot... then quite interesting bout the adventures the character went thru... but... i was quite dissappointed that my ou xiang jim carey actually didnt really play much.. then horx.. thought the movie will be funny .... but.. haix... only liked the little girl that bitex.... haha... hmmm i think next movie i going to watch is hitch... haha will smith!!! yea...

then after that we went to meet xinyu cheryl and jasmin... haha took some neoprints la... haha... wa... spent quite alot sia... then these gals... xinyu jojo then today got added challenger XIAO BAO.. up to the competition again.. peeling stickers... haha so funny la... cant tahan them larhx...
haiz.. sianx lehx.. my scanner siaox... cant scan in the pics... hey XIAO BAO... scan le send me....

then after the long decoration by cheryl and jasmin the neoprints are finally out but the 3 touch rug gals are gone... back to sch for training... haha.. i went back to sch also.. coz my bike still in sch... then i met alyssa who was gonigto jog... so i changed and join her... haha... ran another 8 rounds... haiz.. the heart pain is back.. on my 7th round... sianx... im gonig to die!!! ahaha...

then still cycle home.. wa... so tired... so so... tired....

oh clarification to my previous post.... hmm.. i think that in the beginning i already is dun like her.. at most i take her as a mei mei... haha... but due to some talking by ppl i started to think that i like her.. but not really true after some thinking.. haha... if really say take notice of someone.. i will say... yes i have taken note of someone from the beginning... but i am not going to tell anyone this time... bleahx.. history is not going to repeat itself... haha..

oh to shimin... thanx for ur concern this morning... haha... aiya.. i not sad larhx.. juz that i recently abit tired ba... give me sometime to rest.. should recuperate quite fast..

who am i=> i am a runner.... i run alot... my life is all bout running... i am willing to run this road down for someone... i increase my speed with that someone in my mind.. bcoz i dun wan to fail... hmm.. i try to run away from problems.. but.. somehow it always gets ahead of me... even if i manage to run away... i know that it is going to come back.. and it is going to grow bigger... maybe when 1 day i stop runnning... i will really understand the meaning of life... for i have no more problems... i also run.. in pursue of my love... my targets.... my goals... now i think i can run faster.. bcoz i have u in my mind....

yeah... back...

2005-03-06T23:54:00.000+08:00

haha yeah bai yun gang has ended... and i think it is quite successful ba.... haha... got flowers... thanks thanks to glyn and xinyu and peeps.... oh... alyssa... lynette and company.... yanlong shimin jolene yiqin so many of u people.... oh 4/6es.... and lionel... for coming down to support me.... haha.... if i left u out ... sorry bout i really cant rmb... there wa like so many ppl... haha... thankz alot to all of u....

hmm.... the first day's performance is better for me... i think... haha.... bcoz the response is better??? haha.. but nvm la... it is good enough.... hmmm.. haha....

oh... this is something i really wan to say.... for ppl who understand good for u.....
i have been naturally avoiding her... and i wan to make this clear ba... i dun wan to like her le.... haha.... bcoz... it is "I... M.... possible...."( the usual way i say this word... ) hmmm.... there are so many people around that likes her... think others will be taking good care of her... and in any case.. this will not make us so awkward.... at least i dun put her name as my singpass pass word.... haha.... so i wan to say again... WE R FRENX... GOOD FRENX.... thats it....

woo... i am so free now..... no more rehearsals.... haha... then wonder wat i will be doing le... will feel so empty now.... lolx... it has been so long since i last went on stage... but seriously i have this feeling that i am born for the stage... i like the feeling... or should i say i love it.... be it sing talk act.... i really liked that.... haha... the feeling is great.... able to grab so much attention.... haha... but dun think i can ever be an actor... haha... haiz... sad....

haha thank you huh glyn... for saying that i look shuai... really make my day sia.... so happy till now... haha.... but... i know i am not larhx.... and u really look great last night... oh my goodness... so pretty... oh... i am so so mesmerized by u.... and i really mean it horx... oh ya... this is a comment from me n prissy... shimin... u look sweet... haha... if u happen to see this... haha dun be paiseh k??

i am juz so full of confidence... haah... seriously i dun feel nervous on stage de larhx... in fact i see no audience when i am on stage... i think that is a natural flair that i got ..... though i know they are there... but not a bit affected i will be... i love to be on stage!!!!!!!!!!

and i got a new name!!!! haha i am BAI YUN GANG's big teddy bear.... haha... all bcoz of wat tian tian said... she say i am very good to hug... like teddy bear... then amanda came along also... and tiffy... haha... fun was BYg... but sad that it has ended... haiz... well looking forward to next year de BYG 2006...

hmmm... wanted to go watch movie today de... but nobody wans to go... i asked weijie... xiaobao... yee kheng... hwee ting... if u ppl know who r they... =P haha... haix... then i sianx already ... ended up i went to sembawang to play bball... hmm... sweat sweat alot... then horx... feel very tired... very strange... i dun usually feel like that de.... so think i falling sick soon..

haiz... my leg.... is getting from bad to worse.... haix... now horx... i can do certain bend to my legs.. it jux hurts so much.... how huh??? die la.... sianx... i am getting lamer then before... haiz...

hmmm... think nothing more to say for now le la.... haha.. see if anything will happen tmr... yeah... going to watch howls moving castle tmr... hehe.... so happy... kk... nitex.. miss all those who misses me... love all that cares for me....

who am i=> i am a teacher... i gain experience... i try to teach.. i have my own theories... so u like u accept u dun like... then take it as i am talking nonsense... hmmm... i love to be able to help... but when i cant... i will stay away... u got to learn it ur way too... i will try my best to help in any case de la... look for me if u need help wors... i might give useful advices de... u never know... haha....

argh... cant blog... countdown- 3 days

2005-03-01T22:27:00.000+08:00

haha.. so sorry.... no time to blog... got rehearsal... intensive.... haha...

but congrats to all with good O lvl results....
dun be sad if u didnt really do well....

hmm.. very very sad....

2005-02-27T02:11:00.000+08:00

hmm... this is how i have been feeling for the past few days ba...
haiz... that day on friday.... my bunch of CT mates... xinyu glyn yanlong jolene shimin etc... went out without me!!!! haiz... not their fault larhx.. but i am so jealoused... i wan to go!! haiz... they ended school at 310pm... so late le.. then originally they wanted to go queensway de.. but due to the time they went to bishan instead... oh mine.. read xinyu's blog then like very fun lorhx.. haiz.. how i wish i was there... but too bad i am 1 committed actor for wo men de bai yun gang 2005.... as a lead actor of the show... i need to know my importance ba... in anyway i am still not good enough so i guess more practise is good for me... i promise to do my best for people who are coming to support me wors... *winks* haha...

hmmm... kinda sad bcoz recently my life is all bout drama... everyday i go sch... finished lessons... if early will mean that i find a place to nap before drama starts ... then drama ends "extremely early" wors... mostly 8pm... everytime the uncle will chase us out by standing at the corridor... haha... but overall it is quite fun... know lots more frenx... i hope.. .haha... learnt many skills from this... enriching enough... but the sacrifice is also quite big... hmmm so long that i never go play bball le... but i played today la... haha... even though the rain.... i played after the rain stopped... a bit slippery but was fun...thanks weijie for accompanying me...haah...

then another sad point is that 3 months is coming to an end soon ba... i havent really played much with my CT then from the light survey that my teacher did with the class.... it seems like many of my classmate are moving out... either change of JC or change of combi.... so i guess farewell is somehting that is gonig to happen soon... hmm... really dun wan that to happen but it can never be avoided forever... to CT mates of 05A7C.... i love u all always.... i will miss u peeps like crazy... esp some special people... like my group de people... we rox manx... haha....

and there is another sad point that i found out today... this wan i am fed up and sad and angry.... the tchers wan us to sell our tix... and the price that we r selling is $8.... then the tcher go sell to the students at $6... then they ownself top the other $2... oh pls man... are they spoiling the market... this is like so unfair to us la... we cant sell the tix.. we get scolded... but with them doing this how can we sell... they are tchers rich enuff to subsidise... i can say that if they r doing this then y not jux make the tix price at $6... so it is easier for us to sell also... as students... think we got that much money to subsidise ar... and... they are forcing us to sell our full ticket booklets la... tchers sell to the school.. then CCS members also trying hard to sell to students but meet up with competition... wth... wat kind of tcher is this.... showing such bad example.... are they trying to say the drama is so cheap?!?!?! and my frenx originally wanted to get from me de... ended up they got from the tcher... i hate this... i hate the tcher... ya.. and another thing... wat will other students think... they buy from us at $8 lehx... then let them know that they could get it at $6.... dun they feel cheated??

hmmm sad sad sad.... relationship has not been gonig well for me.... haiz.. really shoudnt have done that.. .i regret it manx... haiz... the avoiding of one another is going on like mad... hmm... ok maybe not that bad... still talk and blah blah as usual.... but could feel the distance... hmm... really dunno how she thinks .... hmmm oh ya... i found something that on my own... i think i was quite lucky... haha... i hope u wont mind ba...

hmmm went out with minzhi alyssa and ming xiao after drama today.... had lunch together.... then crapped on for hours.. haha... quite fun... talked alot... bout ambitiions... and relationship stuffs... hmm... this ideology of mine is so so true.. i think.... in the seek for relationships.. i see myself as a fisherman... cast my net... in search of the one... but in the net i might have caught many... so i need to find out which is really the "one"... so i told them that for me.. i am treating every relationship as if she is the one... so that i dun dui bu qi ta... and if there is at a point where this relationship has come to a stagnant situation.. i will take time to not see her... and see if the feeling is there... and get it back.. but if we really feel that the love is no longer there... i think the time to let go has come... though sadness will bethere but it is better than suffering to carry on... so now is still in search.. and i am gongi to be faithful for "her"... when i have one... haiz.. but think no one will ever like me... so this ideology is only pure talk... and i wont have a chance to act.... hmm... haiz...

hmm come to think of it.... should i be an OGL? haiz...

hmm this paragraph is for priscilla la... i hope u get me... .hmm knowing u quite well... i think that u understand very well wat u r up to now... i dun wan to ask u to stay... bcoz it is ur choice... go for ur interest... u only live ur life once... be sure that there is not regrets... i do support u in every way i can... it has been my great pleasure knowing u.. and having u in the same class now... we began knowing each other as elects... and now we r both out of council... haha... kinda of irony... but .. i am sure we had fun.... hmm.. i do hope htis frenship will last... good luck in ur endeavours... hmm... wish u good luck for the application as well... all the best...

who am i=> i am a taxi driver.... i drive u to where ever u wan to go... there is only a short amount of time that i am travelling with u.... the meter continues to jump.... and our relationship grows better... but when u reached ur destination.. u get off my cab... and leave... without turning back... i know that chances of u coming back is almost zero... u are going to get on with ur life and forget bout me... dear frenx of mine... i am juz someone u meet on ur passing stage... i dun expect u to remember... but at least do let me know that there is a chance that we will be back together.... haiz... i really dun like the feeling of sitting alone in my cab.... are u willing to take the whole way down with me...

shi shang zui lei ren de, mo guo yu xu wei de guo ri zi...

2005-02-24T23:11:00.000+08:00

haha thats my title for the CL A compo...
haha... its is so true.. so applicable to me... as in how i feel... oh yea... and bcoz of this i was released half an hour before lesson ends.. bcoz tcher said that we only had to complete our mind maps and check with him... if it is good... then he will let us go... i was the first to complete... and also the first to leave the class... haha...

not bad today... though i didnt sleep well last night... er.. well i fall asleep in the living room... and i was lying on the floor.... so silly... haha... but i was quite energetic.... and kicking alive... haha... hmmm... though i did fell asleep during mdm tan lesson... but she forgaved me... so good of her... haha.... oh... there was more talking for us today... dun feel that awkward le.... oh... many of mine classmate are worried and unsure of their results and school to go... kinda sad.. that some of them will be leaving.... but i will still be here....

haiz... i am being forced to leave the key board again by my sis.... so i guess i got to end here ... sianx... suckx.... bleahx...

who am i??=> i am a doctor... i can help others... i can give advices.... but i cant heal myself... when will my wounds ever heal... will i ever meet this healer for me.... oh pls... help me...

er.... bad day... i suppose...

2005-02-22T21:49:00.000+08:00

hmmm today was quite sianz.... though i dunno y.... maybe bcoz my feelings sux today...

i am sad...
i am depressed...
i had not enough sleep...
i have no concentration...

hmmm the day started all wrong larhx... woke up late.... then rushed to sch in my bikey.... haha... i still wan to say this... i am damn fast... haha...so ireached sch in 8 mins... i leave house at 710 reach at 718....haha.... not that point la... then got a sms on my way to sch... *details lost*

oh my first period was PE larhx... then we suppose to play frisbee marhx... then horx... so fun today... we asked permission to wear our class tee for PE... and permission was granted... haha.... its nice!!! then we played another class la.... i was my usual self la... loud and full of command aura... haha.... but kinda angry... bcoz the other class people - girls complained me for being loud and rough... rough lehx... i never even knock into anyone... not even touch them and i was label rough... tmd.... i am so angry.... but i bear with it till i cant le... bcoz 1 of them said in front of me... so i shouted back ... "u all lousy then dun blame others...." my stand was that i am bringing up the morale of my team... and in any case i communicate with my team marhx.... so that the team can work better.... ok.. my sis says that i am being childish here... i do agree... but i still think there is nothing wrong for me to shout... well peeps comment on this if u wan... i dun mind comments... well we won in the end 2-0... bleahx... i love my class.... we r a great team!!!! go nemo!!! haha...

then lesson today went on well larhx.... so not much of interesting stuff... oh ya... we sang xinyu a bday song... her bday... haha... and we sang during maths... then mrs tan.f.k asked her to do maths Qn... haha... so funny.... hmm... today is also my Og grp de nanny.. hew tings bday.... celebrated for her during common lunch break... got cream all over my face... haha.... smelly oily...haha...

then lessons ended at 1210.... but... my rehearsal starts at 4.... sianz sianz.. nap at SL lorhx... but not exactly useful... haha.... but got to say sorry to my skit people la... today i really have no feelings to act.. so performance sux... sorry.... too sad to get into my character... ya... so very ineffective today.... shouted a couple of times at the window.. relieved tiny puny bit of stress.. though i am still sad and vexed....

who am i => i am a actor.. i wear a mask.... u dunno who am i .... u dunno y i have such reactions... how come i feel this way... u dun know wat is under my mask... am i the character u are seeing now or is there another real me.... these questions have no answers... bcoz i also dunno.... y do i feel sad... will i ever find my real self... or is there really no such me... if i am not myself of fthe stage, then who is the one on the stage.... i am so lost.... lost in myself.....

i am back....

2005-02-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

haiz... this blog is revived.... due to my classmates asking me to update it.... it has been long since i last updated this page.... haha.... and so many things have happened....

i retained
i worked
i was ogl
i got a new class
i had fun
i was fan
i joined CCS
i am in 'wo men de bai yun gang2005'
haiz...
i folded roses for V-day ( my first time wors)

hmm... well yeah... can see from my nick recently that i am very vexed larhx.... haha...
mixed with my feelings and study stress and also drama stress....
it have been quite a bad day for me today... i think... haha... did something that i regret... haiz... i really wonder if things will remain the same if i had not pass u that.... haiz.... but i guess it is good that i let u know... though that will affect our relationship... but at least i think u should know.... but that made u cold towards me...( T_T )

haiz enough talk on that la.... maybe i should really study hard this year.... forget bout other things and lead no life so that i wont be so fan.... hmmm... i think it takes me time to know wat i wan and straighten out my tots la....

who am i??? => i am born to make u happy.... i am a clown.... i see u happy.. i will be too... although i do feel empty and lonely at times... but it is all worth it... haiz... but there is a limit to how far i can go... i have not seen this limit... but i got this feeling that i am near there le... dun be surprised if i go bonkers... i am a clown in any case... haha*sarcastic*...

her....

2004-07-24T19:32:00.000+08:00

i see her with other guys.... i get jealous...
i sms her and she dun reply, i get sad....
i see her from afar.... but dun want to walk up, talk to her and disrupt her...
i juz keep on thinking bout her... i missed her....

i really love her...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I QUIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-07-24T18:20:00.000+08:00

well... very long time never blog le.... maybe because me and her really not much improvements ba.... but what happen is really too serious ...

i am QUITING COUNCIL.....

today got meet parents session...
then talk to tutor... she advised me to QUIT...
so we went to find ms choong... teacher in charge for council....
after a lot of talk.... i cried... the tears dropped by itself... totally uncontrolled....
my mum won the battle... the teacher was willing to let me go...
my mum said if she was needed to see the principal.... ms choong said its best if she could...
we walked through the doors of the office.....
"erm... im looking for mrs ho, my mother would like to talk to her..."
"shes not in today lehx..."
"then can i speak to v.p?"
"sure..."

the talk was not easy was not simple....
she asked me... wat u wan? do u know wat u r doing now...
IRRESPONSIBLE.... thats wat the vp said.... my actions proved that...
but when i fail again in the promos, i get retained.... who is going to be responsible...
its me again.... so y not i make a faster move and be irresponsible now....

to all the councillors of the 27th... i will miss u all... but i have to go... as i know wats ahead of me...
to all the nanyang ppl who voted for me... i owe u all the promise, the support u all given me...
but for the ultimate aim that is going to affect my life forever.... im sorry...
to the people who support me in quiting... i thank you... u all wish the best for me... but let this be a lesson to be learnt....
to the people i love.... i will take on the responsibilities.... be it being humiliated and scolded...but its all worth it....

my past results in wat is happening to me now
my future cant be foretold.... it can only be created by wat i do today...
my present is to be fully make use of... so that i can prove myself right...

now they will be holding a meeting... and discuss about wat to do.... i hope.... for it to happen...

i know first aid and fire fighting....

2004-06-21T09:41:00.000+08:00

wah recently life is so sianz.. thats why so long time also nothing to update about... hmmm... well i went for CIP ytd lorhx... then got wat police talk.. then got first aid teaching... and finally fire fighting... haha... yupx... haiz.. thought that i can get to see her there de... but in the end she never go.. sadx (T_T)...

then for the past few days was all on soccer and things... watch till my eyes all pain.. cant tahan liaoz.. haiz.. 7 days more to mid yr... think all watching should stop liaoz... ppl~ i lost money... so pls be kind to me... help me save money.. im broke...

12/6 oh yeah....

2004-06-13T12:40:00.000+08:00

alrite~ nothing interesting today... accept receiving her testimonial.... haha so happy...

11/6 (1am of 12/6) wah.. RISK is a game of total luck... its all bout dice throwing...

2004-06-12T01:03:00.000+08:00

haha... today was totally a waste of time, money and brain power... went out with weijie and lionel... went to our old haunt... GSC(goodspeed cyber)... LAN gaming... wah really too lao liaoz... played only 2+ hours then all giddy le... really dunno how we managed to play for whole 8 hrs in the past... so shen qi... lolx..

then after that we went to lionel house, tasted his mum's curry chicken... it was delicious... hehe... then we played RISK... kaox.. we took a very short time to complete our first game... but the second game took us bout 3-4 hrs... argh...
conclusion was that the game is stupidly all bout dice throwing and luck...

haiz come to think of it, that applies to life too... alot of times... we encounter things or events in which we dun wan.. but simply bcoz of our luck, we end up there... but there is always a chance where we can turn the table around, whether it is easy or difficult, all depends on luck and ability... life is all 50-50... live it well or live it bad...

haiz... when i told her bout my feelings, i would have expected the ans, a 50-50 situation, yes or no... haiz... how i hope i have not told her anything, or at least she dun tell me anything... *u say it best, when u say nothing at all...* now that everything is clear, it seems like she is so cold to me... all that i get from her sms replys are *yar...* or *nope*... haiz... sad...

ok going for my mid nite vcd show now... guess i'll juz end here... ZzZZzZZzzZ wish all sweet dreamz...

10/6 (delayed) total sports day...

2004-06-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

haiz... today was like a total torture to the mental mind and physical body... wahaha.... woke up early in the morning... reach yishun at 9... haiz... then went to the gym... hmm... runnning on treadmill was nice, didnt know that i could run continuous for that long...lolx..

then after that we went to play bball... yeahz... but then so pathetic that we only had 2 person... coz the rest all said was coming later... end up we played under the sun from 1100 all the way to 1700... oh my gosh... so glowing red now...all burnt up...

well if u think its over, not yet man... went home and took a nap straight away... purpose is to replenish the energy for my tuition at night... haha... end up the effect was quite good... manage to survive.. tuition from 9 to 1am... preparing for mid yrs... haiz sianx lehx... countdown to mid yr *16 days*

hmm... but was happy... smsed her bout some chem worksheet after my tuition... then thought that i will only receive her reply the next day... but i put down the phone not long then it vibrated... haha the fast reply was becoz it was short... *Yar..* haha... but was still happy that she replied...

9/6 8pm - wah.... so full....

2004-06-09T20:03:00.000+08:00

haha... today met up with my frenzie... ling wei n hui xin and of course my ah beng buddy lihao... went to eat dim sum buffet at tung lok... wah kaox... it was total torture to my tummy manx... the dim sum was so nice that they blew up my tummy.. woo... but on top of that we had a great talk larhx.... lolx...

after that we went walking to the mrt station... with that big tummy... that walk was sure helpful manx... but kind of stupid that we walk from raffles place to tanjong pagar... but worse than that was that we took the wrong train... so we had to like change how many times? finally back on the right track...

seriously wat was in my mind thru out the whole thing was still her lorhx.. haiz... though i try not to to think of smsing her.. but i will juz keep taking up my phone then put it away again... sianz... haiz... thinking of her simply few songs come to mind...

过完整个夏天忧伤并没有好一些
开车行驶在公路无际无边有离开自己的感觉
唱不完一首歌疲倦还剩下黑眼圈感情的世界
伤害在所难免黄昏再美终要黑夜依然记得
从你口中说出再现坚决如铁昏暗中有种烈日
灼身的错觉黄昏的地平线划出一句离别
爱情进入永夜依然记得从你眼中滑落的泪伤心欲绝
混乱中有种热泪烧伤的错觉黄昏的地平线
割断幸福喜悦相爱已经幻灭

haiz... wat a meaningful song... but i would never give up so easily... though i told her its ok that we remain frenx... but deep inside the heart, the fingers are crossed.. hmm.... dunno why but i am like planning all sorts of sports activities for the next day... so that i can engage myself in something and not think bout her? nah ... i really dunno...

8/6 11pm - me n her....

2004-06-09T00:18:00.000+08:00

well... haha... i guess it all started out when i first saw her 13 yrs ago ba... she was my kindergarten mate larhx... then fate happens to bring us together for pri school lorhx... after
PSLE, we some how lost contact and went on with sec sch life... then so interestingly... i saw her again in NY... haha...

hmmm... dunno why? but there is this feeling that came to me that i began to like her... its definitely normal to have crush, but i was sure that it wasnt... so i mustered up my courage and told her that i liked her... this was the first time i ever told any girl bout my feelings...

but yesterday, we chatted on msn larhx... then she told me that she got something to tell me, and it was bad news... anyone in the right mind would have guessed correctly wat she was intending to say lorhx... so i phrased the sentence for her... and i was right.... she did not accept me...

well.. totally prepared for this reply, i didnt not ask any further questions bout y? there could be many reasons... maybe i was too fast too sudden... but nevertheless, i respected her decision, but i will still continue to love her...

maybe some day when i raise the question again... i could get a positive answer... i hope so... bcoz she is really such a great gal...

IN LIFE;

when u fall down,
there will be someone who will help u up

when u shed tears,
there will be someone who will offer u a shoulder

when u feel lonely,
there will be someone who will appear and keep u accompany

when u feel happy,
there will be someone who will share ur joy

when u feel cold,
there will be someone who will offer u his shirt

when u feel lost,
there will be someone who will give u the directions

when u feel tired,
there will be someone who will give u a massage

when u achieved something,
there will be someone who will be very proud of u

when u have troubles,
there will be someone who will help u solve them

when u have grumbles,
there will be someone who will lend u a listening ear

when u have no one, there will still be this someone...
can i be this someone? who will always stay by ur side, care bout u, and guard u against danger...

i think this will be how i wan to start this blog... for her...